letters to blind eyes.

dear j,
"your faith walks on broken glass."
i used to know you so well,
looked up to you. still do i guess.
but it's not the same.
you've changed. i've changed.
you make me very sad sometimes.
how can you ever truly create,
if your soul is wasting away?

dear...,
sometimes i would like to break you,
tear you down. see if you like how that feels.
God knows you've done it to me enough.
but you always pull me back,
like moon pulls the tide in.
i hate how much you do this to me.
all i want is a breakaway at this point.

dear j,
there's too much to put here
in a little message box.
i still cant help missing you.
my heart keeps beating it out
in unsteady rhythms, until i'm dizzy.
stars hit my eyes,
skyline, meet optical nerve.

dear _,
you're not real to me yet,
but i'm hoping soon.
and if i know your name i'm sorry.
we'll work it out,
when you hold my hand,
and give me butterflies,
when our worlds collide.
that's when we'll figure it all out,
nostalgia or fresh beginnings.
could you please find me quickly?
i get so lonely.

dear k,
i know you can read this.
the other half of me.
you're all the things i hate,
resurfacing like fish in toxic water.
death and decay, that's what you are.
i no longer need you to be strong.
i am strong through someone else now.
He is bigger than you. better than you.
strength flows through his blood.
leave. you make me sick.