do you remember?

when you said you were so close to running away, and i convinced you that you should stay home. and you were crying on the telephone and i just didn't know what to do. you were so volatile that i thought you might hurt yourself. when you hated yourself and your life and things were just too hard for you. that's when i was there for you.

that was my part in your life. and i played it. and the run is over. and we're done with the show. and the curtain has closed. and i go on. and you go on.

thought of the day #71

i'm just going to let this go, let this slide.

it's useless to be hurt by something so trivial.

thought of the day #70

i am disposable.

and i just miss you so much.

thought of the day #69

okay, well that was fun. sarcasm.

talk to you again in another month? not.

thought of the day #68

your life is so much better without me. you're a much happier person and your parents are happy with you and who you're around and with. i'm so happy for you. i really am. honest. i'm letting you go, i promise. but tonight, i think i have the right to cry. because i just realized that my absence caused you joy. my absence was all that you needed. and that hurts. i miss everything that we could have been, everything that we can never be. and i don't want to cry. but it's what i need. maybe it will help. it was always something you enjoyed.

thought of the day #67

why go where i'm not wanted?

why do i waste my time missing you?

you don't feel the same.

thought of the day #66

i still ache sometimes. briefly.

like headaches the feeling comes and goes.

thought of the day #65

the world can't always be about me. there is so much more out there that i am completely disregarding because of my obsession with self. forget self, kate. you are weak and incomplete and helpless and selfish and hurting. get over it. your soul is only a little bit damaged (it could be worse) and God has got it under control. He has a plan. so get outside your self. self is not important right now. others. that is important. that's what matters. God and human beings. hold onto that, kate, when everything feels hopeless.

"the messenger is not as important as the message." -frank iero.