misery loves company.

i've never quite understood that phrase. or maybe i have understood it before but my sleep-deprived brain can't quite wrap my head around it right now. but for some reason, that's all that's running through my head. burning eyes, blurred vision, a thousand tendons in my fingers screaming, straining as i type. misery loves company. what does that even mean. why do i have to feel all these things? irrational, dysfunctional things like "i want to be beautiful too, i will never be beautiful like her." violent, stomach-turning emotions. the feel of constant inadequacy, never ever quite measuring up. the standard has been set and i can't live up to it.