the current me.

i am happy and i am sad. my heart is heavy and light. losing you was the hardest thing i've ever had to do. it's so hard that i can't even cry. whenever i think about it, it's just...emptiness. until i don't even have words to say. and i can't handle the strain of everything else on top of this. i am happy with the friends i have. i'm so glad i have such amazing people to hold me up when i feel so scared and sad and hurt. but i can't even put into words how painful it is just to think about you. i don't want to see your face or hear your words. it hurts. but the good news is, i'm going to get over this. i will hold onto the people i have, the people who stuck with me when you couldn't. and i will let this go. i will be a better person for it.

thank you for destroying me. now God can rebuild me.

this is the current me. i am in repair.