i'm really considering

making a bad decision and texting you tonight. i know it's a bad decision because it will not end well. either you won't reply at all, or you'll be all detached and passive and i'll say goodbye feeling even more empty than before. but there's this hope inside my soul that you miss me at least a fraction of how much i miss you. i know it's not true, but i can't help feeling it. i have this displaced hope that you might reply with a "hello davey. it's been a while. i miss you. we should talk." and i can call you and we can finally understand each other again. i don't like living life without you even if i'm very happy for you. i know you don't need me. that's why texting you tonight would be a very very bad idea. but i'm still considering it.

i'm not very smart.