thought of the day #29

i will not judge you for what you have done to me.

all i can really do now is get over you.

just like that.

it's over.

everything we had.

everything we gave each other.

all those things we shared.

all the love we promised.

every tear,

every laugh,

every redbull cola,

every stupid joke.

every frank iero laugh,

everything everything everything.

it's all over.

thought of the day #28

i cannot believe you said that to me.

i can't even put into words how empty i feel.

thought of the day #27

way to go, punk.

thought of the day #26

this is what i wanted, what i never thought i would get. but not like this. i don't want to step on anyone's toes. i don't want to hurt anyone i don't have to. so how do i go about handling this? it's so delicate and fragile. at least to me it is. it makes me nervous how easily i could screw up and lose everyone. no, not nervous.

terrified. i'm absolutely terrified.

God is good.

and i love Him more than words could ever express.

thought of the day #25

i'm neither happy or sad. both concrete emotions giving way to the ever present sense of apathy. and i'm asking myself, where are we going from here? but i have no answers. i don't know where God wants me. i want to leave and i want to stay. i want new friends and i want to keep the old ones. i want release and i want closeness. and i know God is close but i just can't hear Him. i need some sort of reassurance that i'm doing the right thing. i'm restless and apathetic and i'm still trying to make sense of this. i want to make a difference. i want to see change. i want to be a part of something so huge and breathtaking i can hardly stand it.

right now, i don't know where i'm at.