thought of the day #25

i'm neither happy or sad. both concrete emotions giving way to the ever present sense of apathy. and i'm asking myself, where are we going from here? but i have no answers. i don't know where God wants me. i want to leave and i want to stay. i want new friends and i want to keep the old ones. i want release and i want closeness. and i know God is close but i just can't hear Him. i need some sort of reassurance that i'm doing the right thing. i'm restless and apathetic and i'm still trying to make sense of this. i want to make a difference. i want to see change. i want to be a part of something so huge and breathtaking i can hardly stand it.

right now, i don't know where i'm at.