thought of the day #17

thinking of you is like picking a scab. it will never heal. and even when it does, after so much pain...it will leave a scar. i am going to be scarred forever because i cannot stop missing you.

thought of the day #16

today i feel like i'm okay. i don't really know why, because yesterday was really hard. i was so close to a breakdown it was ridiculous. but somehow i held on. and today i feel like i'm steady. and that can only be God. it's not in my strength to give me this kind of happiness. of course, there are these lingering doubts in my head about who i am to you. but i am choosing to trust that you know what you're doing. and that i will always be your best friend. and i'm trusting to God that He will comfort me, even in the darkness. and in the light, i will thank Him and praise Him. today, i am in recovery.

(:

thought of the day #15

i am getting very close to telling you just how i feel. to let you in on this huge, empty secret that's been bruising my heart. part of me knows it is very essential that i do this. the other part of me knows that it probably won't change anything. not a thing. and that is hard for me to grasp. it makes me wonder why we have emotions at all. why hurt exists. why someone always has to be ignored, and why someone always has to be honest. why do we feel? feeling is very hard. and i get caught up in it so much. i have probably over-exaggerated everything that's happened up until this point, but it's how i feel.

and even if nothing changes at all, i need you to know this.

she has no time.

she says she has no time, for you now.

she says she has no time, for you now.

-keane.

thought of the day #14

(50th post).

hello, my name is kate. i go by frankie.

and i repel people like backwards magnets.

thought of the day #13

i never thought this could happen, losing you.

i guess it's official.

i write.

when i'm happy. i write when i'm sad. i write when i am shattering. i write until i can't feel my fingers. i write until i remember who i am. i write hopeless satirical commentaries based upon my own self-loathing. i write love poems to someone i have yet to meet. i write of hope, and marvelous things. i write with an unconditional love for words that sound desperate. i write without purpose. i write with no end game. i write without style. i write with bad grammar. i write to feel alive. i write because i can't sleep. i write to feel important. i write to bury myself away. i write to hide. i write to expose myself. i write beautiful lies with hidden truths. i write genuinely and sincerely. i write because i need to. i write to release. i write when i'm hurting so badly i don't want to feel anymore. i write and i feel everything. i write and part of the world makes sense.

i write. i write because God gave me this mind. i write. it is my way of loving Him.