thought of the day #20

well, telling you how i felt backfired. where was the release it was supposed to bring? now i just feel more sad. the world used to hold such hope, but you don't believe in magic anymore. maybe i should stop dreaming. maybe it is nonsense. maybe i'm not good at what i love doing, maybe i can never make it in the world, maybe i will always be hurt by someone with lovely eyes and a happy smile. maybe. maybe i was just made for a world of hurt.

and magic doesn't exist.

but i want to believe in beautiful things. in hope and in a God that loves me unconditionally. who loves when i screw up and when i am broken. who does not run in a different circle because He is my circle. can i ever get over this, though? i feel like this will hurt forever. but i want to believe that it won't. that i will move on. that i will dream again. but i don't think i'll ever replace you. it's just not possible. you can replace me, but you're irreplaceable.