disillusioned.

i feel like that part in little miss sunshine when dwayne talks about beauty contests is so relevant to my life right now. "you know what? fuck beauty contests." i am so disillusioned with trying to be beautiful.you know what? i wear the same four shirts over and over again and i always wear the same shoes and i have messy hair that never looks right and i have small eyes and i don't know how to put on make up and i have bad skin and i eat like crap and don't exercise enough and when i laugh it's loud and annoying and when i smile my gums show too much.

but i'm sick of comparing myself. life shouldn't have to be a beauty contest. whatever happened to the things that actually matter? art and beauty and loving your fellow human beings. screw beauty contests, i'm sick of trying.