disjointed.

okay. so i have options. i can stay here at concordia where i have been miserable so far. i can stay at concordia but live at home. i can transfer to biola or azusa pacific. i could look into another school to transfer into. i could go to fullerton college for a semester or two. i could go to art school. i could go to film school.

but everything's so uncertain. who says i can get into art school or film school? i mean, i'm not that talented and there's probably not a very lucrative career for me in either one. although, to be fair, there's not really a lucrative career in what i'm studying to be now, but that's beside the point. but everything is so...shaky. unsure. this decision is weighing me down until it's hard to function because i feel like i'm on the verge of a panic attack or something.

this month. this month, i have to decide everything. and i hate it.