ache.

my head hurts really bad. that could be because it's two in the morning or it could be from the exhaustion i'm going into right now or maybe, possibly, it could be because i'm feeling far too much, so much that my head is splitting at the seams. that's what it feels like. splitting apart from the inside out, right behind my eyeballs.

because i feel something i don't want to feel, shouldn't feel, and i can't tell anyone, can't even speak a word or it will shatter this illusion that i've created around myself so that i don't have to face all of this. except my head is screaming face it, god please just face it i can't take this anymore. my heart is simply too overwhelmed to say anything at all besides possibly "help."

my stomach hurts and my eyes hurt and my body is responding negatively to this and i can't help hating this feeling because it can't go anywhere. it is a dead-end emotion with no foundation and no fuel. it just bumps half-heartedly into the edge of my psyche, waiting for something to happen that never will. and these are all words stringed together without care or concern and they mean nothing. they mean nothing at all.